Astronomers at Mt Stromlo Observatory learned yesterday that their deep-space search for the Football World has fallen victim to budget cuts. The decision has sparked dismay in the close-knit space-science community.
“It’s the end of one of science’s most noble quests,“ a dejected Professor of Astrophysics Scott Palmer said last night. “I mean, who hasn’t wondered about the possibility of a real Football World after so many tantalizingly brief references to its existence? Like, "the Football World is in shock", or "the Footbal World is in turmoil". Now, that suggests an object with a breath-takingly volatile, turbulent atmosphere. Or at the very least, a global climate that mirrors a winter’s day at Waverley.”
But what about recent data suggesting that this possible Football World, despite its extreme distance and unknown location, might exert a strong gravitational pull on large parts of Australia between March and September?
“Oh, there’s no doubt about that. But we’d also developed a theory that radiation of an as-yet -unknown type emitted from the Football World was causing disturbingly extreme fluctuations in human emotion and behaviour.” However, Professor Palmer conceded the only clear evidence to support this were crowd-reaction shots from Channel 7’s match coverage.
Federal Science Minister Ian Cleland said this morning that most staff would be re-deployed to work on the still fully-funded search for the Marvel Comics Universe.