O wad some Power the giftie gie us, to see oursels as ithers see us.
Uh-oh. Now what will you do?
More information, please.
NO!oh please god NO.IT IS NOT WORTH IT.run away fast.I have been through this with a husband who is now an ex-husband.My son age 39 left his wife and 2 small children and now lives in his 'investment property' with effing 'Nicole from work'and her damn 16 year old daughter.CHRISTMAS IS A NIGHTMARE FOR SPLIT FAMILIES"OH BUT I LOVE MY KIDS" THE SEPARATED DAD SAYS ... AND MY REPLY IS:THE WAY TO LOVE YOUR KIDS IS TO LOVE THEIR MOTHER.I am dyin for ya here.X X X
Is not the best advice to yourself in the final word of the post?
I'm with Ann. Just... consider. And be careful.If you want some perspective on the issue from someone who's been there, done that and lived (just) through the consequences, look no further than yours truly.
Now that was worth going through more security than James Bond.Enjoy the crush, daydream, drool on the pillow at night if you must but don't touch the goodies.Remember the toy you always desperately wanted for Christmas and it always turned out to be completely crap. Office crush, same thing.
This will be a wonderful opportunity to test your integrity. And - if truly successful - to be proud of what a self-respecting gentleman you are.
Daisy:At present, I THINK she MIGHT. I can't be certain.Miss D:Details. Possibly of a nondescript middle-aged bloke's capacity for delusion.AOD:I appreciate your concern for me and mine. I share it. Disasters are to be avoided.Crushed:Not a chance. Miss D:I won't be doing a damn thing. I couldn't be sure anyway.Jahteh:Enjoy the crush, daydream, drool on the pillow at night if you must but don't touch the goodies - great advice.EB:Maybe not even a test, (although I reckon I'd pass) just an interesting abstract phenomenon to blog about. Like it's happening to someone else.
Aren't work crushes fun... but remember work at work, play at home!!
I had plenty of crushes when I was married and did nothing about them, except enjoy the feeling.I advise you to enjoy the attention. Re-evaluate in a few month's time if it starts going anywhere.
He's back!Work crushes/relationships are bad enough when the two parties are single....have heard lots of stories about this stuff (and lived it!) - it rarely has a happy ending...But good to blogge about it. Get it oot on paper.
TE; FF; Boo;Not surprised by the high-quality advice given here and everyone's capacity for empathy - it's what distinguishes us from lower-order primates (like Liberal Party members) after all. What you've said is pretty much how I've worked it out - determined no harm shall come to anyone.
Well I'm relieved after reading the comments section. Mind at rest. But I gotta say, please don't disillusion me... I hold you up as a beacon of married, male & monogomous & happy to be that way.Interesting blog post though...
All these mostly chicks wanting to spoil a bit of harmless fun.
Blakkat:Thanks, you're a darling. I've managed to rationalize it away as someone with highly-developed interpersonal skills making me feel comfortable and appreciated - like she does with everyone. Crisis averted. Beacon re-polished and guiding ships away from the fatal shore once again.Andrew:Haha! You've cut through the issue beautifully. No fun if it gets embarrassing for her, though.
It happens. I happen to have a crush on a married man but I'll never say a word or do a thing. Crushing isn't awful in and of itself; it's what you do about it. Maybe it's nice to know someone is into you and just leave it at that? Thanks for inviting me to read your blog!P.S. to ann and the bit about "the way to love your kids is to love their mother": that's not all it takes. Kids know when their parents are unhappy, and it affects them, too. And give Lad a break...he's just talking about how he feels, which is a good thing! Repression causes problems...just my two cents.
CWF:Yeah, I'm with you on this one. I'm not going to get in the lift with her and oops press the stop button or anything.Just in AOD's defence, she was operating under a negligible amount of info and expressing quite moving (and much appreciated by me) concern for me and mine. She's a dear blog friend.Thanks for spending your two cents here. Always welcome.
Honey, you gotta weigh up what you're prepared to part with... and the long term affects of some ego-stroking.I understand that it's human behaviour to be flattered when someone develops a crush on you but a fleeting moment of this can cause chaos long term. Are you unhappy in your relationship at home? If you are, talk it through and work out a decent compromise for both parties.It's easy for me (and others) to disperse advice based on our values, and ethics, but you have the real life stuff in your face. Good luck!
Thanks MS. You're dead right. I'll be clarifying the situation somewhat in a post tonight.
to Andrew above: it is only "a bit of harmless fun" if The Spouse is told no lies.to Cynic With Flair: a woman had a crush on the married man who had been mine for 23 years and 3 children. she said she would kill herself if he didn't live with her, so he went.That's what I think of adultery.I very foolishly did not think his ego needed stroking.Anybody reading this should stroke their spouses ego ASAP.
AOD:Planty of strokes going both ways at Lad Litter Central. The work situation is an intriguing phenomenon.
as somebody said above "it is GOOD to feel like a teenager again" so please enjoy being a HOT Lad.Tell TLOYL that a Groovy Workmate thinks you're hot. Tell the GW how great TLOYL is.Enjoy the whole darn thing - without escalating the degree of it.X X X
AOD:Not bad, not bad at all. Except the telling bit. It would come out wrong, I just know it.
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